The Day Our Lives Changed.

A couple of weeks after I was laid off from work, I was really tired of feeling like a blob of gross.  Crampy and grouchy and lazy, I kept telling Ryan and I wished I would just start my period already.  I was expecting to start it any minute after being probably two weeks late...probably.  Finally, on June 9th, I decided I should take a pregnancy test to rule it out. My dr said since I was on birth control, to not freak out if everything takes 6 months or longer; That there was a chance it could happen sooner but highly unlikely. I was pretty used to taking 'pee on a stick' tests by this point.  I was having so much trouble figuring out when I was ovulating so I was taking weeks of ovulation tests, which I have since deemed the most ridiculous and confusing devices ever.

I sat down to take the test.  I opened the test out of its childproof packaging that I ended having to get freaking scissors to get open.  Then, I remembered, "Oh crap.  The exterminator is coming this morning.  I'm not going to have a pee stick sitting out on my counter when he gets here!" So, I picked everything up and waited for later.  At 10:30 a.m., about five seconds after the bug guy left, I sat down again.  I took the test, set it on the counter and then went in the living room.  I started working on something-I don't remember what-when I finally remembered, "OH YEAH, I need to check that thing."  (It has been a while) I walked into the bathroom and saw two pink lines.  Wait, what?!  I picked it up and squinted.  My hand started shaking.  I had to sit down on the floor so I didn't fall over.  I remember thinking, "Is this real life?" and "Today is when everything changed."  As dramatic as that sounds, that is literally what I remember thinking.  After a few minutes, I decided to take a picture of the test so I would remember the day.  My hand was shaking so much, I ended up taking about 40.

I had decided months before, because I'm insane of course, how I would tell Ryan if we were to get pregnant.  I was going to order pizza and have "We're pregnant!" written in the lid of the box.  It was pretty simple.  So I waited until the afternoon to call Ryan and tell him that I needed him to be home at 5pm so I could have dinner with him before I had to be at auditions that evening.  He said fine.  At 2pm, I decided to take another test because, y'know what I could have been dreaming.  I took another test, TIMED it this time so I wouldn't forget about it, and waited for the result.  It was a different test, so this time it was a big "YES" with a plus sign on it.  I said, "OK."  I pre-ordered the pizza and decided I would write the message in the box myself because I don't trust people, apparently.  I scheduled it for 4:45 so I would have time to write it before Ryan came home.  He's never actually home on time, either, so I figured that since I asked him to be home at 5, he would more than likely be home at 5:20 or 5:30.

I was prepared but still freaking out.  I was nervous.  I was still spinning from what was happening.  I saved the last test and put it on the counter in the bathroom, so I kept going back and checking to make sure I read it correctly.  4:30 pm arrives.  I am pacing the floors of our 800 s/f apartment. I see a Papa Johns' truck come up the road and fly past my house at 4:40 p.m.  I was livid.  I ran out the front door!  I don't know if I was trying to run after the truck or what my intentions were but I was like, "Does he not understand what is happening here?!!"  I stood by the window waiting for the inconsiderate ass to show up with my freaking important pizza when I see a shadow with a backpack go to the front door.  I fling the door open as Ryan arrives with, "You're here?!? What the hell?!"  His eyes bulged out of his head with a meek, "yes?"  The one time he arrives early home.  The one time!  I pull him in the house and say, "Well, fine, hold on," as I shut the door on him leaving him puzzled on the front step.  I ran through the house making sure my laptop was shut (I had a bunch of pregnancy website things on the screen) and rechecking the pee stick in the bathroom.  I ran back the front door when Ryan said with a smirk on his face, "Are you hiding someone in there?"  I pulled him in the house and said shouted, "DON'T GO DOWN THE HALLWAY!" I went back outside and searched, like a frightened deer, for the stupid pizza guy.  Nothing.  It was 5pm.  Defeated, I walked back into the house.  Ryan was starting to walk down the hallway.  "STOP! Don't...aauuugghh!"  Ryan froze and then put his backpack down in the living room.  I bolted down (all 6 feet of our hallway) to the bathroom and hid the test behind my back.  I tapped him on the shoulder and said I had to show him something.  I said ok and I showed him the positive test.  His reaction?  "Um...Is this an ovulation test or a pregnancy test?"

None of our really important moments together have gone perfectly or at least very well.  Down to the very first time we met!  This was no exception.  It turned out that Papa Johns never received our order so we reordered and went to pick it up.  I ate and left for my audition.  I don't remember much from my audition except that I was so wired from the afternoon I had a lot of trouble reading the already difficult to read dialogue.  I came home in time to witness the news finally sink in for Ryan.  We were experiencing the same feelings: more excited than we had ever been and more terrified than we had ever, ever been.

So here we sit, getting things ready for baby G.  Sometimes it still kinda feels like a dream.