Yesterday afternoon I was in Target. I was doing some shopping for Ryan and I's Christmas Angel and some other gifts. I was feeling very tired from the cloudy cold outside and was ready to go home, but then I remembered I needed a few other things. I couldn't decide if I needed new shampoo and conditioner or not! I just couldn't figure out whether I needed to go ahead and get some or not. I can't explain it-its one of the most stupid things I have been perplexed about. Needless to say, I stood there, finally, in the middle of the shampoo aisle in Target trying to figure out if I needed this or not.
I stood there, complaining in my mind about this woman who was blocking the aisle where I wanted to be while she read an entire, riveting bottle of Suave hairspray. I could hear a conversation on the next aisle over. The bottle reading lady moved on and as I began to pull my massive cart up the aisle the conversation caught my ear.
A woman was talking to two other ladies about her cancer diagnosis and treatment. She was laughing and vibrantly talking about her conversations with various doctors. She told them about how her family was doing during all of this. She optimistically talked about how they decided to begin her chemotherapy treatment. "They said to bring as many people as I wanted! They said, 'bring food and drinks and it doesn't matter how many people you bring-we'll find chairs!' So, that's awesome cuz I have a lot of people that want to be there. Its going to be a long ordeal and a tiring day."
It was strange. I was supposed to be figuring out my shampoo conundrum and I was sucked into eavesdropping on these ladies' conversations. Upon realizing what they were talking about, I knew that I was supposed to feel...sad, upset, or sorry. I wasn't, though. The woman speaking was happy. She was vivacious and optimistic! I didn't feel sorry for her at all. I felt...inspired.
I decided on a stupid shampoo and conditioner and dropped them into the cart. Then, I heard one of the ladies ask a question but couldn't make out what she said. The woman answered.
She told her how she explained to her son what was happening. She talked about how she wasn't sure he understood but he was trying to fight with her. She then laughed and said, "He is not going to be happy about my hair." She was planning on cutting it all off this weekend. The nurses had explained to her how fast some of the side effects of chemo can kick in. She said she was nervous about her hair but it was ok and that she just hoped she didn't scare her son when she was bald! She went on to talk about some of the scarves and such she was planning to wear for Christmas and the cold weather. She spoke as though she was excited-in a weird way-about her coming fashion statement.
I decided that I had eavesdropped enough. I was beginning to block the aisle like the hairspray reader was, earlier. I pulled my shopping cart into the main aisle and began to walk away but not before looking back at my new inspiration.
She was bundled up in a big winter coat and wasn't too much taller than I was, I don't believe. She had long dirty blonde hair going down past her shoulders. She had a pleasant and cordial smile. Her eyes looked tired. I knew she had to be scared but I knew that she probably wasn't planning on telling people that.
Its a very humbling feeling.
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