Why Some Things are Just No One's Business...

While I as at a dinner this weekend, I overheard a conversation that began with someone asking another woman how her daughters were after their weddings and how married life was working for them.  She then went on to ask if they knew that they were supposed to get busy on grandkids now, and when she expected any.  My reaction was, "Well, that was inappropriate."  I didn't say that out loud, but I should have. The woman being asked meekly said that she didn't know and tried very politely to move on with the conversation.
Someone, I don't know who, approached my father an hour after my wedding asking him about babies.  Also inappropriate.  I was mortified when I found that out!
I've been praying over how to react to this subject.

You know, some people don't want to have babies.  Some people want to have babies later.  Some people try to make 'honeymoon babies.'  (Those people are crazy but that's their business.)  Some people have unexpected babies.  And some people are still trying to figure everything out.

I know a lot of women that are infertile.  I know a few women that tried and then had a miscarriage but wanted hardly anyone to know about it.  I know a lot of people that waited a very long time before they even had a chance.

Does it ever occur to anyone that maybe pushing baby conversations on people and cracking jokes about being pregnant can be utterly inappropriate and can hurt some people's feelings? 

I was putting my wedding dress on for my portraits and talking about how I couldn't seem to lose wait and "OH! Uh oh, you're pregnant!" was the joke that didn't waste any time being dropped.  It wasn't funny.  Even if I was, it wouldn't be funny.  Never mind that I hadn't had any baby-making practice for three months before then.  We can't talk about that (that would be very ungodly-like), but we can joke about being pregnant.

I don't even know if I can have babies.  Its something that I want to do at some point, but its just no one's business but mine and my husband's.  If someone doesn't want to have kids, that's fine, too.  Can we not joke and push that on people?

All I am saying is we need to be a little more considerate before joking on Facebook or to each other about stuff like this.  What if that girl on Facebook had recently had a miscarriage or had even been diagnosed with infertility and you just put on her status that's about being hungry for peanut butter a joke about "maybe you're prego!"  "LOL"  Of course she may never say anything about it but she would hurt from that.  You don't know everyone's life all the time.

Also, I refuse to think that every family is subjected to what every one else thinks the natural routine is for couples.  And guess what?  You don't have to be married to have babies...as controversial as that can be for some people.  However, its as though some people get married and there are already questions about babies.  What the heck?!
Its as though we are expected to go by a preset schedule that is put on us by other people.  We pick how our families are made up ourselves-other people can't make that decision.  If that means that you pick a partner and your life is fulfilled with him or her and your work, then that's fine.  You don't have to have kids if you don't want them.  Don't be pressured into something you aren't ready for.  Vice versa, if you want kids really badly but your friends are telling you that its a bad idea and you would be making a mistake, it doesn't matter what they want.  Its your family and you can have what makes you happy. 

When we do decide to start a family, it will just be because of something we want and not a result of anyone else's ranting, joking, pushing, or begging.  We aren't going to answer any questions about it.  We aren't going to have a conversation about how old we are-we are both very well aware of our ages.  We aren't going to alert everyone when we do decide to move in that direction causing extra pressure, either.  Its just none of anyone's business.